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Showing posts from July, 2008

BEST OF FORWARDS - 4

THE RINGBACK TONE

Ringback tone Customization (popularly known as Caller tune selection), in my view, is a sin which I never want to happen to my mobile. I am very much worried about a caller, in urgency or emergency, hearing a popular movie song (unwanted thing, irrelevant to such a situation) ends up with a frustration. Also, I am comfortable with the traditional "Tring-Tring".

Unfortunately, a couple of days back, it happened to mine because of the monkey efforts of my friend (He pressed * button in my mobile, purposefully, while calling to another friend - his caller tune is copied to my phone). But the song which got hooked, though a new one and super-hit, didn't attract me much and hence, I was in an urge to change the song to something else.

I kept approximately 10 constraints for a song to be chosen as my caller tune.
The song should be composed by Maestro Ilayaraaja.The song should have lyricsThe song should be in Tamil - unadulteratedThe song should neither be romantic nor be anti-…

THE ARROGANT CONCEIT

A day of 24 hours before Bangalore serial blasts, i.e., on 24-July-2008, a bomb blasted on a footpath at Channapatna (a town located in Bangalore-Mysore highway) with a loud noise. Channapatna police assumed that it was the remains of some quarry gelatin. The police realized that they were wrong only after the mishaps in Bangalore and Ahmedabad.

DG & IGP Sri Kumar, after investigation, said "The Bangalore and Channapatna blasts had similarities - Ammonium Nitrate based explosives were used in both the cases and the detonators used were also similar. We think it was manufactured in a nearby place. After testing at Channapattana, they must have brought it to Bangalore".

If he is right, the incident proves 2 things about the terrorists involved:
1.Over-Confidence : Doing a test before the real execution without any fear of getting caught.
2.Professionalism : Testing as a part of Bomb Development Life Cycle (BDLC - Just as SDLC).

BEST OF FORWARDS - 3

An elderly man in Chennai calls his son in New York and says,

"Your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage and that much misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!" the old man says.

Frantic, the son calls his sister. She shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Chennai immediately and screams at the old man,

"Don't do a single thing until I get there and we'll both be there tomorrow" and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

"Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!"

MORAL: The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

THE LOVE HEART

Rules & Regulations framed by Postal Operation and Inspection Division of Indian Postal Service (shortly, INDIA POST) says, "It is against law to send the following materials via any public or private postal service within or outside the country in the form of letter, courier or parcel"
Radioactive materialsPerishable materialsPoisonous materialsExplosive materialsCorrosive materialsFlammable materialsDangerous materialsPrecious materialsIllegal materialsFragile materialsBanned materialsToxic materialsIf it is so, how can a love letter be sent?

THE LITTLE ANGEL

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Its NOT casual or usual for me to watch a Hindi movie (that too in theatres) and one can finger count those which I had seen (Fire, Dil Se, Satya, Lagaan, Asoka, Mathrubhoomi, Swadesh, Samay, Dhoom, Black, Water, Shiva 2006, Guru andTaare Zameen Par are few names to remember).

But after few hours of diffusing a bomb at Forum, Bangalore, I watched a Hindi movie in PVR Classic Cinemas at the same mall. Out of my friend's compulsion, I risked my life before Muslim terrorism and Hindi filmography. Fortunately, I escaped from both.

Its Kunal Kohli's "Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic". This particular post is NOT about the happening screenplay and splendid performances of Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukerji (which made the movie worth watching throughout) but on the little girl Shriya Sharma who played as Aditi.

I am watching her for nearly 2 years in the advertisements - Sunfeast (with SRK), Whirlpool (with Ajay Devgan & Kojal), Chennai Silks, Pears, Gokul Sandal etc. Keeping her expr…

THE TSUNAMI BLUEPRINT

Tsunami (26-December-2004) Animation by Indomer - Alkyon Crystal Hydraulics, Chennai.



From GOI's Sethusamudram Corporation Limited.

THE INFINITE WAITING

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I have only one "open invitation" (which is my first invite too - sent in 2006) in my orkut friends list.












When will he join?

THE FATTY OFF

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Though inflation is poking the head of union FM, most of the the branded showrooms in Bangalore opened up a monsoon sale with flat reduction offers ranging from 25% off to 75% off, currently. The business brand tycoons viz., Reebok, Lee, Westside, Adidas, Fila, Nike, Puma, Peter England, Pantaloons, Allen Solly, Wrangler, Levis, Levi Strauss, Pepe Jeans, Spykar, Tommy Hilfiger, Dockers, Indian Terrain are the major stakeholders of the sale.

Yesterday, I have noticed a very peculiar promotional offer of this kind at "Jealous 21", a specialty women store at Indira Nagar, Bangalore. Its "Your waist size + 21% off" on the price of the clothings. I have also seen a bunch of girls standing inside the showroom with their hands up and lips smiling, showing their waist to the measurement tapes. Let me hope that they are measuring the girls' waist size in inches (I am sure the one of those girls would have got at, least 70% off).

Attention, all fat girls! This is a very go…

THE INTELLIGENCE TERRORISM

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Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) is an official foreign intelligence body of USA for collecting and analyzing information about foreign governments, corporations, and persons in order to advise government in policy-making. We have seen many Hollywood movies in which hero is a CIA agent doing some actions to save the world (USA is world; world is USA) from the villains of some communist nations (Remember Kamal Haasan playing the ex-CIA agent Christian Fletcher in Dasaavathaaram).

The above is the political map of our beloved nation, "Republic of India" as on 15 July 2008, published in the THE WORLD FACT BOOK, a major portal of CIA's official website. Have a look on the boundary of India at Jammu & Kashmir (you may protest that this is NOT India if you are a school-going kid as this one differs a lot from what you had seen in your text-books).

Nearly half of the state area, officially coming under India as per the clumsy Radcliffe Line, finalised on 1947 is shown as Pak…

THE FIFTH ESTATE

A week before, a Public Interest Litigation (PIL) was filed by advocate Surat Singh at Supreme Court which said "The irresponsible coverage by media on recent investigation of Aarushi murder case had a serious breach of fundamental rights of a person hooked to it. Bulk of the news were not only baseless but amounted to serious invasion of the privacy of an individual and his family".

During the nascent stage of investigation, without any evidence and examination there were a lot of stories floating : "Talwar had affair, daughter Aarushi knew it but didn't approve their illicit relationship", "Aarushi had affair with servant Hemraj, father Talwar caught them in an ‘objectionable but not compromising position’ and murdered both of them", and a lot more cruel hot-cakes.

Singh asked "Can freedom of press a licence to malign the character of a dead person? Does our Constitution not guarantee the right to privacy even to the dead". After 49 days im…

THE INFLECTION POINTS

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Though I am not very good at Mathematics, here is a post which involves a lot of numerals as it has a feather touch with feminine gender.

Based on the physical dimension ratios - 3D (obviously, bust-waist-hip), every female is classified into one of the following 4 types. The respective practical sizes are in Imperial Units (rounded off to the nearest inch) and corresponding Indian female celebrity examples in the braces are Base 64 Encoded [Use any Base 64 Decoder to know who is the prototype of your favourite size].Banana : 32-26-32 [QWlzaHdhcnlhIFJhaQ==]Pear: 32-26-38 [TmFtaXRoYSBLYXBvb3I=]Apple : 38-24-32 [U2FuaWEgTWlyemE=]Hour-Glass : 36-24-36 [TWFsbGlrYSBTaGVyYXdhdA==]The hour-glass is the most favourite shape desired/ claimed by many world famous women - right from Hollywood's Marilyn Monroe to Kollywood's Shriya Saran. A recent research survey conducted among American women by North Carolina State University shows that only 8% of them are of the shape n…

BEST OF FORWARDS - 2

A Developer and a Tester went on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the Tester waked up his friend and said "Look up at the sky and tell what you see."

The Developer replied, "I see millions of stars."

The Tester asked, "What does that tell you?"

The Developer pondered for a minute and said:

"Astronomically,it tells me that there are millions of galaxies.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo at this time.
Theologically, it tells we are small and insignificant before the Lord.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."

Then he asked his Tester friend "What does it tell you?"

The Tester is silent for a moment, then told "Practically, Someone has stolen our tent".

SARKAR'S PHILOSOPHY - X

- It's better to flatter rather than cursing.

- None is perfectly ignorant except God as Ignorance is Bliss.

- It is impossible to please everybody even you are the last man in the earth.

- Free Indians are lab-monkeys of "My Experiments with Truth".

- Politics is the art of uplifting financial minorities.

- Every Government looks comic in citizen friendly disguisement.

SARKAR'S PHILOSOPHY - IX

- Man proposes; Woman disposes.

- It is NOT accidental that father of every beautiful girl is bald.

- Company of woman is like a hairy ball - you can't comb it flat.

- "Kiss" and "Kill" are same but a couple of "consonants".

- On seeing an "intellectual-girl", mistrust either of the words compounded.

- A good girl never knows that she is and a bad girl never wants to be.

SARKAR'S PHILOSOPHY - VIII

- Marriage* is a mega carnival of second-hand sale. (* - Conditions apply)

- Wedding earns a pet to every girl - earning pet.

- Engagement - its masculine sentiment and feminine settlement.

- "Committed" is the verb used "before" suicide and marriage.

- Solving a puzzle never fantasises if you are married.

- 99% of married people are atheists; Remaining 1% are lying.

THE IDEAL CASES

Case 1:
She is seducing.
He is bad.
So...

Case 2:
She is seducing.
He is good.
But...

AGEING SIDE-EFFECTS

At 15s - She don't know the side-effects. It happened.
At 25s - She don't allow the side-effects. It happened.
At 35s - She don't care the side-effects. It happened.
At 45s - She don't have the side-effects. It happened.

BEST OF FORWARDS - 1

Que.1 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ?
Ans.1 : A RIPEN TOMATO and the TRING TRING TRING was to confuse you...

Que.2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ?
Ans.2 : A DOOR BELL and the RED was to confuse you...

Que.3 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ?
Ans.3 : A PLUM CAKE and both were to confuse you....

Que.4 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ?
Ans.4 : A FIRE ENGINE and you thought I was trying to confuse you...

MYSTICAL LEXICAL

True Love is like Rest-room;
True Love is like Toilet-soap;
True Love is like Sanitary-towel.

Significance arises over Phraseology.

21ST CENTURY FOX

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Guinness World Records confirmed the record of “largest number of software downloads in 24 hours” (From 18:16 UTC on 17-June-2008 to 18:16 UTC on 18-June-2008) by Mozilla - a total of 8,002,530 Firefox 3 "complete" downloads (mine is one of those). The previous record was by its earlier version, Firefox 2 which counts to 1.6 million downloads.

Firefox, a freeware is an internet client software or simply web browser in over 45 world languages which has 19.03% of the recorded usage share of web browsers, making it the second-most popular browser after Internet Explorer. Tabbed browsing, live bookmarking and download manager are some of the attractive features which Firefox introduced.

Mozilla says that Firefox 3 is "faster, safer and smarter than ever before" and has 15,000 improvements (probably bug-fixes) - Password Manager, One-Click Bookmarking, Smart Location Bar, Instant Web Site ID, Full Zoom, Platform-Native Feel being the notables. I myself experienced the dif…

PLEASE UNDERSTAND

www.41q.com offers a free personality test having 41 questions addressing four pairs of preferences - Extroverted / Introverted, Sensing / Intuitive, Thinking / Feeling and Judging / Perceiving. The site claims that the test is based on Myers-Briggs/Jung Typology which classifies every human individual under one of the 16 possible psychological types.

Though there exists criticism on validity and reliability of this Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment, still it is frequently used in the areas of pedagogy, group dynamics, career counseling, marriage counseling and employee compensation for more than half a century throughout the world.

The 41Q test says that SarKar is ISTJ (one of the 16 types), which constitutes 11.6% of total US population including 3 US presidents - George Washington, Andrew Johnson, George H.W.Bush. Even fictional characters are also analysed for MBTI - Eeyore (Winnie-the-Pooh) and Puddleglum (Chronicles of Narnia) are declared as ISTJ.

The resulting descri…

BORN GOOD

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Here is the news of the youngest millionaires in the globe - a boy, Knox Leon and a girl, Vivienne Marcheline whose age is NOT more than a solar day. The twins were given birth by Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie at the age of 33, yesterday at Foundation Lenval hospital in France, as the result of her domestic commitment with Brad Pitt.

It is reported by some paparazzi that a US magazine already offered around $20m (nearly 85 core rupees, in Indian value) for the picture of the twin babies. People, everywhere in the world, are very much curious about the personal life of their favourite celebrities, particularly if they get married or divorced or give birth to baby (Remember the recent examples : Vijay-Sangeetha, Danush-Aishwarya, Surya-Jothika and Ajit-Shalini).

The news also says that the money earned by the twins is expected to go directly to charity. It is actually exploiting the weakness of human mind, after all for a good cause. Think of such an event in India.

THE EVIL ENVY

Girlguiding UK and Mental Health Foundation resulted with the following stats thorough an online survey on girls aged between 10 and 15:
one-half feel anger sometimes.one-sixth feel anger often.two-third feel sad sometimes.one-third cannot cope with sadness.one-half know someone depressed.two-fifth know someone self-harmed.two-fifth know someone with panic attacks.one-third know someone with eating disorder.two-fifth feel worse about their looks.
Dr.Andrew McCulloch, CEO, Mental Health Foundation says "Young girls today face a new generation of pressures that leave too many suffering stress, anxiety and unhappiness". The major reasons identified are sexuality, materialism, bullying, exam stress and family turmoil. The ill-effects are core mental depression, unbalanced dietary habits, lack of concentration in studies, alcohol/ drug addiction, unsafe sexual relationships and sometimes, suicides even.

Envy is synonymous to girls. A girl cannot feel contented with what she has - no…

THE GREAT HUNDRED

As of now (this millisecond), this website has 1269 visitors from 25 countries of 6 continents making 1756 hits in 86 days. Today, the site reached another milestone in its short journey - 100 posts. To be specific, this is the hundredth. I really want to make use of this occasion to thank every individual who kindled me to reach this landmark.

I am wearing a lot of masks everyday for survival - a good husband to my wife, a QA Engineer in the IT industry, a pleasant support to my friends and above-all, basically a human-being. It's the last role which I deserves more and made me strive to turn into a successful writer, a poet and a blogger now.

To be frank, I am not a biggie in English language. I never read any English novel or a short story till now (apart from the non-detailed text of my academic syllabi). The English which I am exposed to are from my engineering books, corporate world, newspapers & magazines and a few non-fictions.

In spite of this, a couple of reasons force…

HAVE FUN - IT'S YOURS

SCOOP! www.writercsk.com is in the news.

NEWS 3 CHANNEL, a leading TV News Channel in US presents a feature on SARKAR and the web site. The news appeared in the Politics - Top Stories, today. It says "What began as a colorful Internet fluke has blossomed into a full-fledged political movement". To see the full coverage of the news in the television's official website, click here .

Enjoy! Have Fun! It's Yours!



"Always, it is easier to make fool out of intelligents than vice-versa"
- SARKAR's Philosophy.

THE INFLATION STORY

"Do you feel the inflation?"

Inflation is a price hike of goods and services in a region (in general, a nation) over a period of time. Unlike US, UK, Japan, France, Canada, Singapore and China (using Consumer Price Index - CPI), India uses Wholesale Price Index (WPI) to calculate inflation. To be clear, India uses the measure of the weekly change in the price of 435 commodities in wholesale market. Few economists criticise on the accuracy of this method as wholesale price is different from consumer price and more than 100 of the 435 goods are not consumer goods.

Recent days, Indian inflation is in news continuously as it reached a 13 year high (Today, it's 11.63%). Is inflation only in news? Don't it affect a simple citizen's (like me) day-to-day? My college mate cum colleague (who is in the process of mastering economics), yesterday, asked the question in the first para to me. I have a strong "Yes" as the answer to him and realised there is a list of evi…

THE PANTOMIME PANTALOON

A couple of days back, Ahmedabad police registered an FIR against Ashis Nandy, a renowned sociologist and political critic (who received the Fukuoka Asian Culture Prize and named as one of the top 100 public intellectuals of the world by the magazine, Foreign Policy), under IPC sections 153A (promoting enmity between different groups on grounds of religion, race, place of birth, residence, language) and 153B (imputations, assertions prejudicial to national integration) in reaction to an article he wrote analysing the outcome of the 2007 Gujarat assembly poll.

A vacation bench of supreme court comprising Justices Altamas Kabir and G.S.Singhvi fired few questions to the public prosecutor Hemantika Wahi, "What has he written? Why should he be prosecuted? What is the investigation to be carried out in this case? Why are people coming from the land of Mahatma Gandhi so intolerant towards such criticism?" and concluded that "We do not find it objectionable. If a journalist can…

TETRAGRAMMATON PROFANE

“Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.”
- Dick Cavett (American TV Talk-show Host).

Sex is a three-letter word which needs few four-letter words to convey its full meaning. We, the citizens of English speaking community of this globe are very much familiar with these "four-letter words" in our daily routine. I started using one of these at the age of 10 without knowing its exact meaning. Current generation kids are even more faster.

The phrase "four-letter words" refers to a set of English words with four letters which are considered vulgar/ indecent - mainly fabricated with excreta, sex and genitalia. These words are not generally used (at least, not frequently or with hesitation) in newsprint or electronic media which attempts to reach a mass public.

The common four-letter words include shit, cock, fuck, cunt, piss, dick, crap, fart, suck & tits. Few more from Wikipedia - twat, turd, spaz, wang, joey, mong, jism, muff, jizz &…

OBSCENITY EXPLETIVE

A student who wrote "f*** off" in the recent GCSE examination (GCSE - General Certificate of Secondary Education is set of English qualifying exams conducted in UK, taken by secondary school students at age of 14-16 - nearly equivalent to our SSLC grade) was given marks (2 out of 27) for accurate spelling and conveying a meaning successfully.

Peter Buckroyd, the chief examiner of English for the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA), responsible for examination standards taken by 780,000 candidates and training for 3,000 examiners who evaluated & marked this paper, told SUNDAY TIMES, LONDON, "To gain minimum marks in English, students must demonstrate some simple sequencing of ideas and some words in appropriate order. The phrase had achieved this".

He instructed fellow examiners and trainee examiners to mark in the same way - "It would be wicked to give it zero. It’s better than someone that doesn’t write anything at all". If this is the case, o…