PAKISTAN'S STANDARD RESPONSE TEMPLATE
Dear Prime Minister Manmohan Singh/
Atal Bihari Vajpayee/
Narasimha Rao /
Rajiv Gandhi,
Pakistan strongly condemns /
is shocked by /
is pleasantly surprised with the success of our "freedom fighters" in the loss of dozens /
hundreds /
thousands /
millions of innocent lives in the bomb blasts /
sniper attack /
hijacking /
religious riots /
other disaster that occurred in
a busy marketplace /
train /
housing colony /
Indian parliament building / an upper-class hotel /
temple in Mumbai /
Delhi /
Kashmir /
Assam /
Punjab /
Gujarat /
Other.
The Pakistani
citizens /
soldiers / "freedom fighters" /
"friendship agents" /
students who were
caught red-handed /
found dead at the scene of the crime / convicted of the crime are actually undercover Indian /
American /
Israeli agents. Any Pakistanis proven to be guilty of terrorism will be
rewarded handsomely / dealt with severely /
promoted to Lt. Colonel /
given a new Indian passport and sent back to India /
handed over to the Americans as proof of our commitment in the war on terror.
There are no Pakistani army-funded training camps /
terrorist camps /
madrasaas in Azad Kashmir /
Afghanistan /
Nepal /
Bangladesh . The
satellite images /
photographs /
eyewitness accounts / videotaped confessions obtained by the Indians
is fraudulent /
fake /
inconclusive / are actually from Indian terrorist camps and part of a larger RAW /
CIA conspiracy to destabilize the Pakistani government by
stalling democracy / encouraging sectarian violence /
undermining Pakistani institutions /
causing the next military coup in Pakistan. A destabilized Pakistani government /
mafia could cause Pakistan to become a dangerous nuclear WalMart /
Target /
Seven-Eleven and a terrorist breeding ground /
university /
research lab that would be worse for the world.
We hope this will not derail the peace process started with the recent
India-Pakistan cricket series /
Lahore bus yatra /
Muzafarabad- Srinagar road opening /
Bollywood peace concert / open borders initiative /
other confidence-building measures. We look forward to justifying further attacks against innocent civilians /
resolving the core issue of Kashmir /
developing best-of-breed plausible deniability defenses. We stand by /
are plotting against our Indian brethren in their hour /
days /
years /
decades of pain.
Signed,
Asif Ali Zardari
President, Pakistan /
Chief Operating Officer, Taliban Inc. /
General, Pakistani Army
Comments
வாசித்தவுடன் சிரித்தேன்.
ஆனால்,
உள்ளிருக்கும் உண்மையைக் கண்டு மனம் வலிக்கின்றது
K Saravana Karthikeyan